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"I
would have said 'yes' to abortion if only it was right.
I mean, yeah it's right. Well no, it's not right, that's
why I said 'no' to it."
- George Walker Bush, Jr, President of the United States
of America
check
out Josh's George Dub-a-ya Zone for more great Bush quotes
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"I
saw Principal Skinner and Misses Krabapple in the closet
making babies, and I saw one of the babies and it looked
at me."
- Ralph Wiggum, The Simpsons
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"I'm
not a soldier, I just play one in real life."
- PFC James Johnson
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itzaverynisa:
"You pierced what?!?"
MightBeTheDevil: "My raging cock."
itzaverynisa: "Goddamn, you do have a deathwish."
MightBeTheDevil: "I would suggest everyone try it,
it really defines your pain tolerance to small needles...
I bought myself some legos, that was pretty cool... You
know with that extra hole I could combine the two and
become a plastic lego cyborg!... And the funny thing is,
they all say I'm weird... I'll show them, I'll show them
all who's weird..."
itzaverynisa: "Yeah, show them your dick."
MightBeTheDevil: "Touché."
- a conversation between MightBeTheDevil (James) and itzaverynisa
(me)
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"I
stepped on a childrens rake the other day. I wish it was
an adult rake in many ways because my penis is now black.
The hope of my penis becoming larger since it's black
is now fading."
- Dave Pechie
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"We
don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read
and write poetry because we are members of the human race.
And the human race is full of passion. Medicine, law,
business, engineering: these are noble pursuits necessary
to sustain life; but poetry, beauty, romance, love - these
are what we stay alive for."
- Dead Poets Society
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"Is
she the same eclipse-causing stature of his former fare?"
- anonymous
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"What's
really going to bake your noodle later on is, would you
still have broken if I hadn't said anything?"
- Gloria Foster as The Oracle, The Matrix
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"Why
bleed for the wicked if the wicked don't bleed for me?"
- Tantric, "Paranoid"
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"I
ain't got nothin' on but the radio!"
- Christina Robson
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"Dark,
for fear of failure, an inner gloom as wide as an eye,
and fermenting, roiling hate-death-grip in my veins unveiling
rancid petals flowering forth foul nectar - the space
between a blink and a tear - death blooms."
- Mudvayne, "Death Blooms"
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"Magic
fire can only set things on normal fire."
- Elisha LaCourse explaining the properties of spells
in D&D (which is actually incorrect, but it was
damned hilarious at the time)
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"The
doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept
my finger outta there!"
- Ralph Wiggum, The Simpsons
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"I
don't care if they live in a cardboard box or a Fridgedair
box, just as long as those homeless pieces of trailer
park trash keep off The Rock's freshly mowed lawn, the
rest is copasetic."
- The Rock, wrestler
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"What's
with 'today' today?"
- Rory Cochrane as Lucas, Empire Records
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"You
are a full-on scortch-cake!"
- Christian, wrestler
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"Satan
can make anything happen."
- Daria O'Neil, 94.7 KNRK - The New Rock Alternative
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"Pro
wrestling is entertainment. I think Vince McMahon said
it best with the WWF’s Super Bowl commercial. Their
whole message was, pro wrestling is a joke. Wrestling’s
a joke! Get it? Get it? Get it? Hey, everything we do
is a joke. It’s like Vaudeville. C’mon people,
give me a break ... it’s just pro wrestling. But
then again, what do I know ... I’m only a pro wrestler."
- "Big Sexy" Kevin Nash - link
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"When
a problem comes along, you must whip it. Before the cream
sits out too long, you must whip it!"
- Devo, "Whip It"
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"It
will be a great day when our schools get all the money
they need and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to
buy a bomber."
- Women's International League for Peace and Freedom,
1978
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"Oh
no, Sluggo!!!..."
- Mr. Bill
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"She's
just Angela."
- Elisha LaCourse explaining why Angela does the things
she does
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"D'oh!"
- Homer J Simpson
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"If
it's broke and can't be fixed with duct tape, you don't
need it! Throw it away."
- Jim, one of The Duct Tape Guys
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"Whoa!"
- Joey Lawrence, Blossom
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"Jack
saved me from a wild chipmunk."
- Jack In The Box Antenna Ball #3,923
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"It's
like high school the way you're supposed to do it."
- PFC James Johnson, speaking about the US Army
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"I
might steal cars and mug people for money, but I still
play golf."
- unknown
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"'If
it wasn't for that horse, I wouldn't have spent that year
in college.'"
- Lewis Black, quoting a random girl from the mall
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"Candy
is dandy, but liquor is quicker!"
- Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate
Factory
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"Violet!
You're turning violet, Violet!"
- Leonard Stone as Mr. Sam Beauregarde, Willy Wonka
and the Chocolate Factory
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"It's
like, here we are, looking down on Wayne's basement...
Only, that's not Wayne's basement... Isn't that weird?"
- Dana Carvey as Garth Algar, Wayne's World
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"If
you're gonna spew... Spew into this! (holds a folded Dixie
cup)"
- Dana Carvey as Garth Algar, Wayne's World
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"It's
all aboot dignity!"
- Canadian politician from South Park: Bigger, Longer,
and Uncut
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"I'd
never done a crazy thing in my life before that night.
Why is it that if a man kills another man in battle it's
called heroic, yet if he kills a man in the heat of passion
it's called murder?"
- Ed O'Neill as Glen, Wayne's World
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"If
there were a degree for trickery, I'd be a Master Trickster!"
- Freakazoid
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"Wow,
you're nuts are big!" "Yeah... Nuts rule!"
- Edge and Christian, wrestlers
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"Oh
it's true - it's damn true."
- Kurt Angle, wrestler
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Herbert:
"But father, I don't want any of that!"
King: "Well, what do you want then?"
Herbert: "I want someone with a certain... special...
something... (almost breaks into song)"
King: "No, no, there won't be any of that [singing],
not while I'm around!"
- The King of Swamp Castle and his son Herbert, Monty
Python and the Holy Grail
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(puffing
on the last of a cigarette) "The filter's the best
part." (puffs again) "That's where they put
the heroin." (puffs once more) "Only us really
good smokers know that one."
- Dennis Leary, No Cure for Cancer |
